Daily Silly Status

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the refrigerator and thought, What am I doing inside the refrigerator?

Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.

I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.

My dream job would be the Karma delivery service

What a snow day inside with the kids! My one son thought it would be a good idea to fill up the garage freezer with snow to save for later and my other son had an "accident" and peed all over the floor in the bathroom. Youd think they know better at 13 and 15 years old! I probably should stop letting them drink beer in the house.

I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.

Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.

Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.

I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.

Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.

*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!

Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.

I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.

I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.

Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.