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My first career was working as a Ventriloquist on a Radio Program, I got let go when people kept calling in to say my lips were moving.........
Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
My fake plant died because I didn`t pretend to water it
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!