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Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
You can always tell the guys that masturbate a lot by looking at their hands. If you look close enough you can see their wedding ring.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"......Idiots can`t spell...
It is amazing how quickly kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, dishwasher, or vacuum cleaner.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.