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Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
When I say "It’s a long story" It usually means I just don’t want to tell you it.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I`ll never know.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
Yet another advantage of being single. All I bring to Thanksgiving is empty Tupperware...
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."