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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
Ever have to poop and your abdominals start to relax just as you near the toilet, and then you notice that `Out of Order` sign or the empty toilet paper dispenser?
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.