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How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
Some people need to calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
So many people are making history right now. but me, I`m deleting history from my browser.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.