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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
I have many thoughts. I just canΒ΄t remember any of them.
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea… I just suck at fishing.
Every day I struggle between β€œI wanna look good naked” and β€œtreat yourself.”
My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can`t carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people