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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
People will do odd things to get even.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
You know what`s the best part about waking up early? Nothing, it sucks!
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Unless your name is “Google”, stop acting as if you know everything!
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*