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The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
Relationship status: Private. The only way for it to be.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
People who learned a bunch of stuff must have felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.