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I hate to sound racist, but.. all of your baby ultrasounds look the same.
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
If you want your team to win a sporting event just tell me. I will root for the other team. That will guarantee a win for your team.
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that`s where I unfollowed you.