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You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can`t conjugate verbs.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles ... Do your damn job.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.