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Don’t text and drive. You don’t want “lol” to be the last thing you say before you die.
If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
Is it just me or is waking up at 3am and trying to read a text message like looking directly into the sun?
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.