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Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
You call them ‘naps’ but I prefer to call them ‘alcohol-induced aftershocks`
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.