Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I send more time looking for porn than actually watching it.
They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.