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My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!