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I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
A fun thing to do when leaving the Zoo, is too start frantically running and yelling "OMG they`ve all escaped!"
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
Very little scares me. So does very big.
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
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It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....