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Somehow I thought growing up would involve more than staring at my phone
*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!