Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.
I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of your eye but half the time there is anything in my eye its an eyelash!
So apparently putting Alkaseltzer in my pocket while I`m getting baptized and pretending I`m the devil is not funny.
Peace on earth would be nice, but not gaining 20 pounds over the holidays would be a Christmas miracle.
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now