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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
That amazing moment when you find money in your clothes that you forgot was there.
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
When one door closes and another one opens, it`s time to pack up and leave because your house is clearly haunted.
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I`ll read 4 or 5 status updates and I`ll cry, because I relieze how dysfunctional some of my friends life`s are. but then I`ll smile when I remember things like the leftover pizza from last night sitting on the coffee table!