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I put the o in illiterate!
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
I hate when my mom tells people I`m 503 months old.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I’ll ever get to yoga.