Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Sometimes I think I`m pretty cool but then I remember plants can eat sun and poop out air.
I am 5 for 5 on popping my trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station.
My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......