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My sex tape would just be called Home Alone.
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
You being crazy doesn`t bother me. It`s you being crazier than me...That makes me freakin` jealous.
The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don`t care if you get the last iPad Mini.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...