Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".
My sister told me I was not allowed to babysit anymore. Apparently the baby monitor is not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby`s ankle.
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it ... I`m gonna miss that baby...
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
If I don’t talk to myself, who will?
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
Unless your "Awesome Sauce" is an actual sauce and it involves putting it on a steak then I don`t want to hear about it.
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
My number was 0...
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?