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Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
Time to walk the cow and milk the dog, Happy Hump Day!
My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and sent me a poem on Pinterest explaining how tired she was after a long day of work leading to her email. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?