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Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
Every new day means new opportunities... to make mistakes and f*ck things up.
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.