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What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
Champagne says I`m classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks.
Cops don’t like it when you ask them “Need some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.