Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste
My boss acts like during March Madness is the only time we`re less productive. Its cute
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"