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New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
Guy advice #221: Starting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then starting a load in the dryer counts as `2 loads` - just sayin`!
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"