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If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
My doctor prescribed me xanax instead of birth control pills I asked for. Now I have 9 kids, but I don`t care.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd