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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Gym Update: Not there.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
Never laugh at your wife`s choices. You are one of them :)
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.