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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.
I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.
I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer, but you can`t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....
I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep.