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You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
My wife wants to have more kids but I don`t want to have to learn anyone else`s name.
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.