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I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
Is it wrong to put leftover Halloween candy in their Easter baskets?
You don’t realize how many people you hate until you have to name a baby or a dog...
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
I have a few skeletons in my closet. But, every single one of them deserved it.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?