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"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "PLOT TWIST!" and move on.
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)