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Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
-buys lottery ticket -fantasizes about winning the lottery -smiles -loses lottery -resumes general hatred for life
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.