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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
Flu (noun) - The only time when having used tissues laying next to your bed is socially acceptable.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.