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Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right for this Monday
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.