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Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
Sorry I said "Better you than me" when you showed me your baby.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".