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Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
Exercise would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burn them.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.