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If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.
Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered...WAS I drunk the whole time?
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions.
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
If you`re ever worried there`s an intruder in your house, shout 69 down the stairs. If no one laughs, there`s no one there