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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah...kids are stupid.
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
Women forgive and forget but always make sure you don`t forget that they forgave you and forgot about it.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.
:): The Bipolar smiley face
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."