Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and that`s where I sleep.
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Wanna try something funny? Go to a bank and yell "NOBODY MOVE..(Scary pause)..I lost a contact lens."
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
Did you hear about the homeless guy that tried selling me meth?.... Yeah it was Bumcrack.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.