Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I`m about as self-helpful as they come.
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
If you`re in WalMart and you`re holding in a fart, just remember, YOU`RE IN WALMART!!
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly
Sometimes.. late at night... I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I am a meatball.