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Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired