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Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
Never hire a color blind Bomb Technician.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
Where is the button to restart summer?
The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 10 million. The odds of being the fastest sperm are 1 in 300 million. You`d think that with those odds, you`d win the lottery 30 times in your life.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.