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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
Remember bad decisions make the best stories!!!
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t