Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
I drink to make other people interesting
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
If any of you ever want your kitchen painted orange just give a six year old Cheetos for lunch and tell them not to make a mess. Works every time.
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
Where is the button to restart summer?
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.