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I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
Whenever I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. I don’t want her to meet her competition right away.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.