Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
If you have no regrets in life, you clearly have never gone out with me.
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
Wonders why there´s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?