Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose vodka.
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)