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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
Einstein was wrong. The real definition of insanity is trying to clean your house when you have children.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
Mcdonalds Drive thru: Do you want a girl toy or a boy toy? Me: You have those here?!
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even Iām not sure if Iām kidding or not.
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend
I`m ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO