Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
The best things in life require no pants.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
I`ve been eating a lot of extra calories since daylight savings to make up for that hour of eating I missed.
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
According to my roommate`s diary, I have boundary issues.
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.