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That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
Some days I feel about as useful as the pants in Donald Duck`s closet.
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
Boyfriend: Why do you watch the Food Network it doesn’t make your cooking any better? Girlfriend: Why do you watch porn?
I never think twice about helping others.In fact, I never think once about it.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.