Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
Share this if you are weird and don`t care
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
I`m not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
The closest I ever got to murdering is when I held a Oreo cookie in milk until the bubbles stop.
You should never answer your phone during sex, particularly if it`s your wife calling.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.