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Life is beautiful ...... but Monday`s suck all the way around.
If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
? Taken ? Single ? So sexy that they’re all scared to go out with me.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
Sometimes you have to photoshop your life. Touch up edges, adjust the tones, blur the background, focus on yourself & crop some people out.
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.