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I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion, the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
Iām bored enough to clean.
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
According to my roommate`s diary, I have boundary issues.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.