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Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
You know you are old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
Some of my best memories are naps.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.