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Being a fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)
When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
I`m only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.
I had your cake and ate it too.
I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.