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I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
I`m always right. And when I`m not, I edit Wikipedia.
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
is procastinating now. Don´t see why I should put it off.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.