Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it’s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
I make self-sabotage look like an art form.
“I saw that.” -Karma
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM
Can I apologize in advance for basically everything I will ever do???