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It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.