Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Revenge is best served to someone`s toothbrush.
You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF is wrong with you?
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I KNOW HOW TO HIDE A DEAD BODY
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.