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Your life must really suck when no one even likes the catfish version of you.
If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
My ice bucket challenge: 1. Buy bucket 2. Add ice 3. Add 12 beers 4. Sign into FB and drink