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Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won`t understand how many calories are in it.