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I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
We may be an advanced nation but we still have to remind employees to wash their hands when they pee.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
If he pauses a video game to text you, he`s probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.