Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail
People are always much more interesting before you get to know them.
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone