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Iβm single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
Enough with procrastination, itβs time for excuses.
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
If I say βitβs a great day to be alive,β itβs because those are literally my only plans.
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn`t reply to my last 43 inbox messages & then you updated about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."