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Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Sometimes you just have to logout...
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me