Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone`s throat.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
You know you are old when people keep telling you how young you look.
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
Best thing to do when you`re stuck in a group text is to to throw your phone in the street and start a new life and maybe get some chipotle
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Do you really have to breath that much?
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!